Can't afford failure

Well, it appeared that there was still a ton she had to do to catch up, or well, if she wanted to finish her education around the same time as the others. Something she did want, even if studying wasn’t something she particularly liked doing.. But at least it would probably keep her busy enough to not get too distracted by some of her old habits. And because she took this chance she would be able to build a better future for herself, she knew that. It wasn’t something she knew she wanted, not until someone offered it to her. The only tricky thing was that she now owed it to him to earn back his invested money, which meant that failing also wasn’t an option.

And right now, one of those steps in making sure she wasn’t going to fail, was making sure she would catch up on one of the lessons she missed. To do that, she had to speak to one of the teachers who was giving those lessons to ask him if she could still join in on them, somehow. It had been a very long time since had attended school, and well, to be fair, she didn’t quite know what the hell she was doing. Her own parents would have never been able to pay for a school this good, which also meant that was in no way prepared. No, she was just lucky, or something like that..

When she came to the classroom the door was standing wide open, and when she peeked her head around the corner it seemed empty as well. Except for one person, who was probably the one she was looking for, if she had to guess. ”Are you Asher Morgen?” She asked as she walked into the room, her hips moving very feminine without thinking about it, as it was something she did almost automatically.

It was still a bit strange to be walking around here, it almost felt a bit as if she needed to act like someone she wasn’t, or rather someone she hadn’t been for quite some time. And it would probably take some adjusting. Or well, it already did, given that she had to leave behind a great many things she did back in Italy. Something that wasn’t going to be easy on top of everything she still had to do. But she was just going to start doing it, and stay strong along the way, as she had always been that through everything.

The man who was standing inside the college hall was definitely not an unly man, certainly not for his age. Well, just something that was allowed to be noted, right? She gave him a soft smile with a slight hint of playfulness in her eyes while she moved her weight a bit from one leg to the other, crossing her arms over each other. Yeah, well, she saw him checking her out as well, soo.. Not that she could blame him though, not with what she was wearing. It was quite far from being prudish and maybe a bit too adult compared to what other students were wearing. Yet, it wasn’t that bad either, and well, it was at least a lot more decent compared to what she used to wear a lot. ”Well, I’m actually new here and I just started, so I missed a few lessons and they told me to find you.. Saying you might be able to help me out.” She said, and well, a few lessons was maybe a little understatement here. The slight italian accent she had picked up was shining through her words as well, giving slight hints as to where she came from. Except for the fact that it wouldn’t actually be entirely true.

Yes, one could definitely say that she was someone who was used to getting everything she wanted with the use of a little charm, that was most certainly true. But one could also say that she was someone who worked hard to achieve her goals, and who wasn’t afraid to get her hands a bit dirty from time to time, if that was what it had to cost. She wasn’t going to let anyone stand in her way, even though she was sometimes perfectly capable of doing that herself though. Which was probably also particularly the reason why she was here as well.. Because before this, she had actually fucked up her life, quite literally in some senses.

His reaction, however.. It wasn’t one she had accounted for and for a moment that was perfectly visible on her face as well. No, she actually found it to be quite rude, as she had no trouble with sensing the sarcasm in his tone. And the playful little shimmer in her eyes disappeared as smoke before his. She softly closed her surprised mouth and huffed shortly, looking away for a moment to think about how she was going to get back at him. ”Fine, I wasn’t even going to ask you to do that, but well, if you insist.” She said, giving him the very same sarcasm he had given her. Her green eyes now piercing him with attitude. ”Just remember me not to ask you again nicely.” She then added a bit salty. ”Or do you want me to go look for someone else who can help me?” Well, honestly, if he did, she would. Because she wasn’t going to let him treat her like that.  

 To her own belief, she had just asked him nicely if he would have been able to help her with some catching up on information she probably needed for the rest of the year, she never asked him to redo all of his lectures, not like that. But it turned out that even a little help was already a bit too much to ask and well, Ally was rather quickly frustrated by it. Maybe a little too quickly even as she couldn't help herself but respond with a little attitude towards him. Not at all the smartest move, she knew.

"Alright fine then, if no one can help me I'll just do it myself.. I'll succeed on my own without anyone's help.. And I will make you regret being a big old grump to me after I do that." She, a little too hot headedly, threw at him, raising her voice so that it could be heard by people passing by the door. Turning around on her feet as her dark hair swept through the air in front of him before she stormed out and slammed the door a little too dramatically. Right outside she stopped and managed to dig her fingernails into the palm of her hand, in an attempt to slow down her anger in the hallway. Knowing damn well that she lied because, truth be told, she still didn't know what the fuck she was doing, or how she was going to do it.. And she was panicking, internally. But, as usual, there was no one out there who was willing to help her and she would just have to find a way.. Maybe a different way. Her breath was still going fast but slowly calming down a little. However, she had forgotten that he had been about to leave the room and she was still standing in front of the door.

Maybe it had all sounded a little too good, going back to school so that she could learn about doing international business for a man who had been willing to invest in her future. Maybe this was just another big mistake she could add to all the bad ones she had already made. Maybe, if it sounded a little too good to be true, well, it probably was. Or.. This teacher was just an asshole. And well, if he wasn’t going to help her, she could just find herself someone who would, by all means necessary. One way or another, she was going to get this done, even if it was just to prove to him that she wasn’t a brainless piece of shit.

But, as always, controlling her emotions and frustrations wasn’t really her strongest point, which already became pretty evident after her short explosion towards him. And the fact that he managed to stay calm and relaxed frustrated her even more in the moment. So, she went for the emergency dramatic exit, not wanting to waste anymore time on him. But, to do that, she should have probably walked away. She had been far too busy with trying to calm herself down, so she only noticed him again when he asked her if she was alright. ”I’m fine,” She spat out, throwing out some of her last frustrations. After which she did - miraculously - managed to listen to him. Her eyes quickly checked their environment, to see if anyone was close enough to listen, before taking a deep breath. ”I’m sorry.. I..” She started, but it was clear to see that she had some trouble opening up. It was something she truly hated. ”I just have no idea where to start and.. Well, I just hoped that would have been able to point me somewhere in the right direction.. I promise I can take it from there, I’ll work hard.” She now more calmly said, trying to explain what she had been wanted to say in the first place. And her eyes now showed a bit more seriousness than before, with maybe somewhere a hint of desperation.

It wasn’t that Ally had ended up working in stripclubs because she was dumb, because she wasn’t. She only ended up there because she made some dumb decisions in her life, and for those she probably had her emotions to blame. Because yes, she was a little too quick with responses sometimes, letting her emotions get the better of herself most of the time, being the little firecracker that she was. Which was exactly what had happened here too.

And she knew that too, she knew it had been wrong. Yet, admitting to it wasn’t something she could do. The only thing she could do was apologize for her behaviour, though that was probably pretty much the same thing as admitting that you were wrong. Oh well.. He could have it, even if she wasn’t all too happy about giving it. But, as it turned out, her last try wasn’t one in vain since he could try to make an exception. Her green eyes looked back up at him, giving him a slight smile as it appeared that mister grumpy was able to show at least a little sympathy. ”Alright, I’ll do my best then. But like I said; I work hard. I won’t make you regret it.” She told him, widening her smile a little more. And well, that was the truth. If she had to spend the next two weeks locking herself up in her room with books, if that was what it took, she would do it. She wasn’t allowed to fail this opportunity, and well, while she didn’t like studying at all, she did like a challenge.

This time, however, it seemed as if her little burst of emotion, no matter if it had been right or not, had been able to get her the desired outcome. Not something she had plannen though, she never actually wanted to respond like this, she just did. But well, she had apologized for it, and she hoped he would be able to forget about her calling him a big old grump. Though, she did still look at him like that. Ally wasn’t the forgive and forget kinda girl. Forgive maybe, but never forget.

Her little smile came back when he pointed out a possibility to still enroll her in the course, but she had to work hard, which she said she would do. Ally was many things, but she was able to work her ass off, if necessary, and with the right motivation. And well, motivation was something she had, certainly now. But even without the intention of wanting to prove him wrong, she still couldn’t afford to fail because there was much more at play. ”Ally- Uhm.. Alisandra Elsevier.” She said, almost wanting to use her nickname as she always did, most of all because she didn’t like her own name. Her eyes shortly looked around again, making sure nobody was listening in on them, making her look a bit nervous. ”No, not yet, they told me my books would arrive somewhere this week but they couldn’t tell me exactly when.” Ally honestly decided to tell him while quickly biting her lip, cause well, that could possibly be a problem.

Oh well, she supposed that lecturers had a rather busy schedule as well, but it was probably not even close to how busy she had to be these next weeks. And her future depended on it, soft of. So yes, she did appreciate the help, which was also why she came to him in the first place, only he had to be an asshole at first. Oh and sure, if she could have signed up for the courses earlier, she of course would have done so. But one week ago she was still working in stripclubs in Italy, so, yeah.. She never had that luxury. The man who paid for her education had paid the school a lot to get her in, however, he didn’t know that, ofcourse.

”Thank you.” She told him with a smile when he said he would ask the board today, and well, if they didn’t agree with it she might have to have a conversation with them as well. Surely she would eventually be able to convince them, somehow. Without even realising it she softly bit her lip when she told him about now having the books yet, and.. It almost seemed like he got a little distracted? Right, well, that was something she could use to her advantage but for now she wasn’t going to give it any attention. ”Alright, well, I’ll give it back then.” She said, the corners of her mouth slightly pulling up, maybe even giving him a little bit of a smirk. Yet, with her eyes she tried to seem as innocent as possible. ”As soon as I get my own books.” She added, to reinforce her words a bit more. After which she patiently began waiting for him to move, maybe in the direction of where he would have the book so she could take it with her.

No one had actually ever told her how things were done at a university, and the fact that she ran away as a teenager maybe could have had something to do with that. She never expected to be standing here, or even go back to school. But when she was younger she always had good grades, even if she was constantly causing all kinds of mischief around her old neighborhood. She used to have quite a reputation, but she always managed to get one wherever she went.. This time would probably not grow out to be so different.

The little ‘thank you’ she gave him was probably well deserved, since she didn’t think he would do this for every other student. As that was one thing she did realize by this point. She figured she could have explained her situation to him, but she wouldn’t do that, not unless he asked. Ally didn’t want to come across as that desperate, even though she had certainly been there, for a moment. When he asked her to follow him, she simply nodded, after which she began following him through the schoolhalls. Rocking her hips softly from left to right as she went. Her eyes shortly went over the other people who were walking the halls, people who were still mostly strangers to her.

Smoothly she followed him into his office, turning around for a moment to close the door behind her, almost a little automatically. Turning back around after that and looking at the man who was now searching his massive bookcase. His question didn’t really come as a surprise. ”Well, that’s quite a long story actually..” She started, curiously walking over to his desk before turning her body slightly and leaning against it with her leg. ”And I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t expect to ever go back to school, not until someone made me an offer I couldn’t resist.. So, now I’m here.” She said, hoping it now didn’t sound too much like she had some kind of sugar daddy, which well, she actually had, basically. Otherwise she would have never been able to pay for all this.

It was going to take her some weeks of locking herself up and studying almost non stop, she knew that. And right now the question still remains if she would be able to do it, but she was going to have to try. Or else she would have to drop a few subjects, even if that was something she didn’t really want to do. No, maybe somewhere deep down she also wanted to prove to herself that she could be something different, knowing deep down that she could do it. This was a rare opportunity and she was going to have to take it with both hands.

Inside his office she let her eyes curiously go over the little room, especially his desk. Not for any particular reason, oh no, certainly not. And well, it didn’t take too long before she directed her attention back to the man who was now asking her why she dropped in so late. Something she answered quite honestly as there was no reason to lie, but of course she didn’t mention to him that she used to be a stripper, or something like that.. However, if she came to think about it, she would actually love to see his reaction when she would tell him that. ”Yes. If I would eventually come to work for his company afterwards.” She told him, and well, maybe now there was a chance that he would be able to see some possible red flags. Ally already knew that she was being used, but to her that had sounded a lot better than living the rest of her life working in stripclubs.

When he turned back away from the bookcase she just stayed where she was, letting him approach the desk and drop the book on it. Her eyes following his moment for a moment in silence. Smiling a little at his next words while looking down for a moment, feeling some little sassy commentary bubbling up in her mind. ”Wouldn’t be the first time I thoroughly impressed a man.” She told him, looking back up into his eyes with a slight smirk. Oh yeah, she meant something by that. Her hand moved down to pick up the book and for a moment she studied it. ”And I actually do like a challenge.” Ally then admitted, still sounding a bit smug.

Ally was very well aware of the fact that she was in a very risky position here, one where most people wouldn’t want to find themselves in. She didn’t either, but it had been her way out. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it, because she was already used to people using her in all kinds of ways. In the last few years people hadn’t done anything else but take advantage of her, maybe even to a point where she almost didn’t know any better. Which was probably a little sad.

His question shortly made her take a deep breath, as that wasn’t something she thought about just yet. Or well, she had, but the uncertainty of the outcome did frighten her a bit, secretly. Either way, it was maybe time for her to be a bit more cautious with her answers before he would start digging too deep into it. ”I won’t.” She said, trying to sound very certain about it, even though she was a terrible liar. Her eyes were always able to give it away. ”But, if that were to happen, I think I would just have to find a way to pay him back, somehow.” She eventually decided to say, still trying to sound like that wasn’t something that would actually happen. And that it wasn’t such a big deal. But she did give him a little side eye, maybe because another part of her did want him to notice something could be off.

The response she got to her little comment was absolutely priceless, and softly made her chuckle a little bit. ”Oh no, don’t worry, I was actually just joking.” Or well, not really though. But she wasn’t going to let him find out about that. No, maybe another time, or maybe never. However, he quickly decided to pick up another topic, maybe because he didn’t really know how to handle this one. Which, well, she could understand. ”Yes, I’ll be sure to give it a try when I get the chance.” She told him, now giving him a sweet smile again. After all, she could use all the help she could get right now.

Truthfully, she found it rather hard to find a way to speak the truth without making it sound like something was a little bit strange about her situation. And another big problem was that Ally never wanted to ask for help, not when it came down to her personal problems. The girl had her walls up so high, she didn’t know how to break them down to let other people help her. She was so used to dealing with all her problems on her own, it had become a little problem in itself. Certainly when things would get out of control to a point where she wouldn’t be able to handle them herself anymore.

His next question managed to quiet her down all the sudden, not knowing a good way to respond to it without it sounding like she would be lying to him. At first she had been looking at him, but her eyes now became a bit more avoidant. The truth was, she didn’t know. She had met the man in a stripclub, which was certainly not a place where saints went, but she still didn’t know what else the man wanted from her. Only that he wanted her to work for him, but that was about the extent of it. Ally eventually swallowed, looking back up but still not giving an answer, which would already tell him enough, probably. His question already proved to her that he was smart enough to understand, but she couldn’t tell him.

And now even she could use a little distraction from everything, which was probably another one of the reasons why she decided to tease him a bit. Yet, it was also just a bit more just her personality, or so she guessed. But his reaction had been priceless nonetheless. It was also a good way to create some distance from him again, after everything she said, since he now seemed to feel a bit more uncomfortable around her. ”No, I think that’ll be it.” She said, now pressing the book against her front with a little sweet smile. Oh, how quickly her demeanor could change from one moment to another. ”So, I guess I’ll see you around then.” She then add, and with that she walked towards the door, hips still moving very femininely. Turning back to him for a moment when she opened the door, giving him another smile before opening the door and walking out of his office.